What an amazing journey life has brought me. Everything that was set to kill me has actually brought me to this beautiful place called “Freedom”. Freedom from my past. Never would I have thought in a million years that I would have an opportunity to share my journey with the hopes of helping someone else find their freedom as well.
I will never forget the day. The day I had awaken and realized that I had enough. Enough of the Physical, Emotional and Verbal Abuse. However, the day before I made such a drastic decision for both my life and my children’s life, let me take a moment to share the unfortunate events that led up to my decision. I remember getting ready for work like any typical day. I could sense that my abuser was in a horrible mood. I tried with everything in my power to stay clear of him. Why, you ask? Well, one of the things that I’ve learned while dealing with an abuser is to try your best not to ruffle their feathers or they will make you pay. In my case on this particular day, staying clear did not help me at all. My abuser was looking for a fight and a fight is just what I gave him. I was tired, Tired in my mind, body and soul. Just tired. For the many years that I put up with the abuse I never fought back because I was always afraid that he’d kill me. But this day I was just tired, Not even afraid of death at this point. We fought and fought and like normal, I got myself together and still headed in to work like nothing happened like life was beautiful. Portraying an Image that was not me. What I didn’t know nor was I prepared for is that my abuser was about to do something that he’s never done in the years that he and I were in a relationship and that was he came to my job. He came to my job to continue what was started at home. I was grateful enough to not have loss my job at the time but it left me in such a dark place.
Even in that dark place I knew in my heart that I was ready, I was ready to leave. The next morning, I waited, I waited for my abuser to leave for work. Once he was gone, I remember sitting in my bathroom as I begin to google different places in Delaware County desperate for some assistance. DAP, (Dap of Media PA) Was the first place that popped up and immediately I reached out. Man was I scared. There was so much running through my mind at the time but DAP was my life savior in that moment. I wish that I could remember the advocate’s name of who I spoke with during that call. What I will say is her voice was very soothing and she was extremely compassionate.
DAP did something for me that changed my life for the betterment of me and my children. I was accepted into the Safe House. One of the things that Dap provided me and my girls with was Peace and Safety. Peace was so important for all of us because we hadn’t experienced peace in a very long time. Not only did I find peace at the safe house, I was given a second chance at new beginnings. My children were safe and we were able to return to the safe house each night for the next 60 days knowing that I could lay my head down at night without worrying about being awaken by someone standing over top of me and pounding on me for absolutely nothing. What an amazing feeling it was for me to reestablish stability for my family while gaining so much support from DAP. One of the other things that I learned during this time as well is that stability is not the cure to the trauma that a person experience through abuse. I fought for my freedom because I wanted it so bad. You really have to want it bad enough. I went to counselling even when I didn’t feel like going. Counselling is a huge part of your healing process. Trauma is huge and needs to be treated as such! I also quoted a lot of affirmations daily until I believe the power behind the words that I was speaking. Every single day I told myself that I was strong, I was worthy, I was powerful and beautiful. Today 5 years later I believe Every word and it shows!
I’ve always wanted to give back just as a way of saying thank you with the hopes of having the opportunity to one day help someone the same way that Dap stepped in and helped me. Almost a year ago I decided to reach out to Joy Cason (Director of Dap’s safe house) Through email inquiring about having any part time positions. I really wasn’t expecting Joy to respond at all but to my surprise not only did Joy respond right away, She let me know that she was looking for a weekend Advocate. March 2021 will make one year and here I am the person on the other side giving victims just what was given to me 5 years ago. I am what you call a Survivor!
