On Valentine’s Day, 2009, my then husband, stabbed me 11 times with five separate kitchen knives while our six and three- year- old sons watched in horror. It was a miracle I survived the attack. About a year later, he was offered a plea bargain by the county for a 7-20 year sentence for Aggravated Assault versus trial for Criminal Attempt.
There was a brief time during those years when he was in prison that I was able to actually breathe and feel some sense of victory and relief, but it was extremely short-lived. Every day became a day closer to when he would eventually be released. Letters from the prison to my children, court dates for his attempts at visitation, among other torments. I drank away my pain, anxiety and fear of that day, problem I kept hidden from just about everyone in my life.
In May of 2016, just before he was scheduled for first chance at parole, he caught a virus in prison that attacked his heart and lungs, and a week later, he passed away.
One day, when my firstborn was small, I was home caring for him and Dr. Phil came on and used a term I’ve never forgotten- “defining moments.” I continue to this day to use his term “Defining Moments” about events in my life my abuser’s death was one of those moments. The weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders and, meanwhile, I was destroying my body, my health and my boys lives, with the drinking and fear. I realized I was free and it was time to change.
I quit drinking on June 7, 2016 and completed five years of continued sobriety in a few days.
Today I have a certificate in Victim Advocacy from Neumann University and am a Domestic Abuse Project of Delaware County volunteer. I have spoken at DAP’s medical conference, a Physician’s lecture series and DAP yearly bingo event. I have become a certified spinning instructor, and completed several distance running races, including one full marathon, and will be competing in my first Ironman 70.3 triathlon this July in Geneva, NY.
My name is Denise Escher and I am a survivor.
